There is a gentle revolution taking place, a gradual turning of the tide. It’s not big or showy, this revolution, it’s quiet and subtle, and it isn’t rigid or fixed, its evolving and changing as frequently as the weather. The whisper is getting louder. It’s on Woman’s Hour pretty much every week, so something must be happening. We ladies in midlife have a responsibility to each other and to future generations of women. I can feel it very viscerally, deeply, yeah maybe even in my womb, let’s go there, it’s calling me and it’s call has led me to call to you.
WE MUST TALK ABOUT THIS
We didn’t think it would happen to us, or at least couldn’t possibly imagine it after the years of focus on our careers, or relationships, or travelling, or motherhood or all the heady heaven and hell of our twenties and thirties.
You feel disconnected, lost, set adrift and it’s part of this voyage of discovery, getting you ready to hear the truth of who you really are, because you are ready now and you can try and resist it all you like, but it’s coming for you, not at you to sweep you away like a tsunami, even though it feels that way sometimes. It might not have happened at a time of your choosing, but we can adapt, that is one thing we are really, really good at - adaptation.
You are not going mad or losing your marbles. You don’t need locking away, although you may feel like locking yourself away with gallons of ice-cream and a few hundred box sets until it’s all over. Everything might look greyer to you at the minute, or things might seem a bit flat, but that’s just part of this retuning process, the reclamation is underway. You are glorious, majestic beings of constantly evolving light and dark. I hear you. You are doubting, questioning, wondering is there more to life than this?
The constantly changing landscape of the peri-menopausal brain can leave women feeling like they are being betrayed by their bodies, hijacked by their emotions, and not since puberty have such profound changes taken place. It can feel like trying to build a house on shifting sands, trying to swim upstream. It could seem like something is broken or needs fixing, but this is not the case.
We cannot resist this change any more than we can hold back the tide…..it’s time to embrace run with it, hear its call to commune with nature again, to feel the earth beneath your feet, and this change can only happen because it is safe for you now……...just as a woman’s body will sense if it is safe to get pregnant or not.
The spark inside that looks like it needs tending to, didn’t ever actually go out, but it wants you to draw closer and pay attention, bathe in it’s warm glow, tune back in. There is so much other noise in this modern life, so many pulls this way and that, and most times it is who is shouting the loudest that gets your attention, Tune in. Listen. What is she trying to tell you? It might feel hot, sweaty, chaotic, but there is wisdom in there too if you take the time for you, to hear it.
Hear it. Share it. Let others know how it is for you. There must be no shame, no guilt about how you’re feeling anymore.